And This Was Just the “Pre-Meds”

I remember looking over at this tray and realizing how many bags there were.

And this was just the pre-meds. Before the chemotherapy itself even started.

It wasn’t overwhelming in a dramatic way. I wasn’t panicking. It was more of a quiet recognition of how much this takes. How much time, how many people, how much science, how many different kinds of resources and both the weight and blessing of these things bring tears to my eyes.

So many layers of medication.

So many steps.

So many things needed just to prepare my body for treatment. Sometimes it is easy to picture someone sitting in a chair with an IV for a few hours. This is true and it is six hours one day a week, plus another day for 1.5 hours if additional fluids are needed and another appointment for labs. It is medicines that require ice gloves and ice socks. It is restless legs. It is my beautiful sister sitting with me every minute. It is remembering the necessary pre-treatment I do for my port, about confirming the meds I’m getting, and about making sure I’m eating and drinking enough.

This process will continue to expand my perspective and gratefulness because it is layer upon layer, just like the meds. Not just physically, but emotionally too.

Sometimes cancer changes your life in huge moments. And sometimes it’s a glance over at a tray beside you that makes you realize how much you’re carrying and how much others are working to spot you every step of the way.

Pre-meds IV bags before chemotherapy treatment.